Bigger cosmic reason!

INT. CLEMENTINE'S APARTMENT - A FEW MINUTES LATER

Joel stands in the living room, somewhat nervously. He tries to calm himself by focusing on the surroundings. He looks at the books on her shelves. Clementine is in the kitchen. We see her as she passes by the doorway several times, preparing drinks and chatting.

CLEMENTINE: Thanks. I like it, too. Been here about four years. It's really cheap. My downstairs neighbor is old so she's quiet, which is great. And the landlord's sweet, which is bizarre, but great, and I have a little porch in them back, which is great, because I can read there, and listen to my crickets and...

Clementine is in the living room now with two gin and tonics.

CLEMENTINE: Two blue ruins...

Joel is looking at a framed black and white photograph of crows flying.

CLEMENTINE: You like that?

JOEL: Very much.

CLEMENTINE: This... someone gave that to me, just like, recently. I like it, too. I like crows. I think I used to be a crow.

She caws and hands Joel a drink.

JOEL: Thanks. That was good, that crow sound.

CLEMENTINE: Do you believe in that stuff? Reincarnation?

JOEL: I don't know.

CLEMENTINE: Me neither. Oh, there's an inscription on the back.

(takes it off the wall, reads:)

The way a crow/Shook down on me/The dust of snow/From a hemlock tree/Has given my heart/A change of mood/And saved some part/Of a day I rued.

JOEL: Frost?

CLEMENTINE: (impressed) Yeah. I'm not, like, a Robert Frost lover by any stretch. His stuff seems strictly grade school to me. But this made me cry for some reason. Maybe because it is grade school. Y'know?

JOEL: It's pretty.

CLEMENTINE: I miss grade school. I don't know why I'm calling it grade school all of a sudden. When I went we called it elementary school. But I like grade school better. Sounds like something someone from the forties would call it. I'd like to be from then. Everyone wore hats. Anyway, cheers!

JOEL: Cheers.

They click glasses. Clementine giggles and takes a big gull of her drink. Joel sips. She plops down on the couch and pulls her boots off.

CLEMENTINE: God, that feels so fucking good. Take yours off.

JOEL: I'm fine.

CLEMENTINE: Yeah? Well, have a seat, anyway.

Joel sits in a chair across the room. Clementine finishes her drink.

CLEMENTINE: Ready for another?

JOEL: No, I'm okay for now.

She heads toward the kitchen with her glass.

CLEMENTINE: Well, I'm ready. Put some music on.

Joel crosses to the CD's and studies them.

JOEL: What do you want to hear?

CLEMENTINE: You pick it.

JOEL: You just say. I'm not really --

CLEMENTINE: I don't know! I can't see them from here, Joel! Just pick something good.

Joel studies the unfamiliar CD's. He picks up Bang On a Can performing Brian Eno's Music for Airports to look at. Clementine reenters with her drink.

CLEMENTINE: Oh, excellent choice.

She grabs it and sticks it in the CD player. The music is dreamy and haunting and slow. Clementine falls back onto the couch, closes her eyes and sips her drink.

CLEMENTINE: Mmmmmmm. Way to go, Joel. You pick good.

Joel sits down in his chair and drinks. There's a silence, which seems fine to Clementine but makes Joel anxious.

JOEL: Well, I should probably get going.

CLEMENTINE: No, stay. Just for a little while. (opens her eyes, brightly) Refill?

JOEL: No. I --

CLEMENTINE: I know a man who needs a refill.

She grabs Joel's drink from his hand, takes it into the kitchen.

CLEMENTINE: God bless alcohol, is what I say. Where would I be without it. Oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, maybe I don't want to think about that.

She giggles. Joel looks around the room again. There are several potatoes dressed as women in beautiful handmade costumes: a nurse potato, a stripper potato, a schoolteacher potato, a housewife potato. Clementine returns with Joel's drink and a refill for herself.

JOEL: Thanks.

CLEMENTINE: Drink up, young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.

Joel looks a little alarmed.

CLEMENTINE: I'm just kidding. C'mon.

She sits back on the couch, closes her eyes. Joel watches her, looks at her breasts. She opens her eyes, smiles drunkenly at him.

CLEMENTINE: Y'know, I'm sort of psychic.

JOEL: Yeah?

CLEMENTINE: Well, I go to a psychic and she's always telling me I'm psychic. She should know. Do you believe in that stuff?

JOEL: I don't know.

CLEMENTINE: Me neither. But sometimes I have premonitions, so, I don't know. Maybe that's just coincidence. Right? Y'know, you think something and then it happens, or you think a word and then someone says it? Y'know?

JOEL: Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to know.

CLEMENTINE: Exactly. Exactly! That's exactly my feeling about it. It's hard to know. Like, okay, but how many times do I think something and it doesn't happen? That's what you're saying, right? You forget about those times. Right?

JOEL: Yeah, I guess.

CLEMENTINE: (dreamy beat) But I think I am. I like to think I am. It's helpful to think there's some order to things. You're kind of closed mouthed, aren't you?

JOEL: Sorry. My life isn't that interesting. I go to work. I go home. I don't know what to say.

CLEMENTINE: Oh. (considers this) Does that make you sad? Or anxious? I'm always anxious thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest, y'know? Taking advantage of every possibility? Just making sure that I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.

JOEL: I think about that.

She looks at him really hard for a long moment. Joel tries to hold her gaze, but can't. He looks down at his drink. Clementine starts to cry again.

CLEMENTINE: You're really nice. I'm sorry I yelled at you before about it. God, I'm an idiot.

JOEL: I do have a tendency to use that word too much.

CLEMENTINE: I like you. That's the thing about my psychic thing. I think that's my greatest psychic power, that I get a sense about people. My problem is I never trust it. But I get it. And with you I get that you're a really good guy.

JOEL: Thanks.

CLEMENTINE: And, anyway, you sell yourself short. I can tell. There's a lot of stuff going on in your brain. I can tell. My goal... can I tell you my goal?

JOEL: Yeah.

CLEMENTINE: What's the goal, Joel? (laughs) My goal, Joel, is to just let it flow through me? Do you know what I mean? It's like, there's all these emotions and ideas and they come quick and they change and they leave and they come back in a different form and I think we're all taught we should be consistent. Y'know? You love someone -- that's it. Forever. You choose to do something with your life -- that's it, that's what you do. It's a sign of maturity to stick with that and see things through. And my feeling is that's how you die, because you stop listening to what is true, and what is true is constantly changing. You know?

JOEL: Yeah. I think so. It's hard to --

CLEMENTINE: Like I wanted to talk to you. I didn't need any more reason to do it. Who knows what bigger cosmic reason might exist?

JOEL: Yeah.

CLEMENTINE: You're very nice. God, I have to stop saying that. You're nervous around me, huh?

JOEL: No.

CLEMENTINE: I'm nervous. You don't need to be nervous around me, though. I like you. Do you think I'm repulsively fat?

JOEL: No, not at all.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2003) by Charlie Kaufman