Juno (2007) by Jason Reitman

Juno MacGuff: I think I'm in love with you.

Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?

Juno MacGuff: No... I mean for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...

Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.

Juno MacGuff: As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And, I know that people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but... I guess normalcy isn't really our style.

I think that kids get bored and have intercourse.

Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, "Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment."

I need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever.

Juno MacGuff: ...and the receptianist tried to get me to take these condoms that looked like grape suckers and was just babbling away about her freaking boyfiends pie balls! Oh an Su-Chin was there and she was like, "Hi babies have fingernails." Fingernails!

Leah: Oh, gruesome. I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?

Juno MacGuff: That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, "Blah I am a Kracken from the sea!"

Su-Chin: I heard that was you.

I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while.

Paulie Bleeker: I've wanted this for a really long time.

Juno MacGuff: I know.

Paulie Bleeker: Wizard.

Bleeker's mom was possibly attractive once, but now she looks like a Hobbit. You know, the fat one, that was in the Goonies.

Hey, yeah, uh, I'm just calling to procure a hasty abortion. What? - Can you just hold on for a second, I'm on my hamburger phone.

The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

Juno (2007) by Jason Reitman